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[06 Aug 2007|04:03pm]
[ music | Billy Idol ]

Steve's sitting next to me.
I dunno.
I don't think i've been this happy in awhile.

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[22 Jul 2007|03:13pm]
[ music | smother me.<3 ]

Have any of you thought about something, that you knew more than anything?  
& all the sudden you just forgot what you knew,
& the thing you knew so well, seemed so confusing & crazy for a split second?
When you wonder "what steps in life did I take, that got me to where I am at this very moment?"

what led me to you?
what led me to this state?
what did I do that was so amazing, that karma felt the need to reward me with such an amazing life?

just wondering.

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[19 Jul 2007|12:59pm]
last night was the most fun i've had during this entire summer.
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[13 Jul 2007|03:07pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | Portastatic ]

when I die, I was to make sure that i'm cremated.  & I want my ashes to be spread everywhere, in rivers, & oceans, on hills and under trees.  I still want to be a part of everything.

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[10 Jul 2007|03:08pm]
[ music | colour revolt ]

my hands are freezing.

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[07 Jul 2007|01:05pm]
[ music | Anthony Green. ]

I am constantly stuck in between being happy & completely depressed.  Today, this girl asked if I was ever happy.  Actually, I am most of the time.  I'm generally in a good mood.  But I didn't say that to her.  I said "fuck off."

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[01 Jul 2007|06:32pm]
[ music | ex-girlfriend. ]

Today I went to Kansas City, for the art museum.  It was so nice, they had the greatest photography/pop art galleries.  All the other galleries were beautiful too, but those just struck me.  I love how people swoon over my camera, i'm so lucky to have it.  Mmm, I love the art culture & how everyone connects.  I love when your eyes meet with someone, & they give you this look as if to say, "I know you, I know exactly where you're coming from because thats where i'm coming from too."

a sense of belonging somewhere.
I love Kansas City, its tall buildings, its millions of thrift shops, its beautiful architecture.
Its a mix of Detroit & Royal Oak, which is why I want to live there.  My two favorite places combined.
It reminds me of home quite a bit.

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[30 Jun 2007|10:06pm]
[ music | The Smiths. ]

I hate secrets, I hate keeping them from people & I hate when people keep them from me.
Its been raining for four days now, which goes along nicely with relaxing music.

I love the rain.
I'm going to paint now, i'm in the middle of a nice portrait.

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[29 Jun 2007|02:25pm]
[ mood | ... ]

maybe we didn't hang out as much as we used to, as much as we should have.  Maybe I left before I could see you leave.  & maybe we faded over the years, & we weren't best friends anymore, before this all happened.

but you know what, I miss you anyways.
I love you, for what we all once had.
I still think about you a lot.
I regret letting you go like I did.

why? )
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[25 Jun 2007|02:32pm]
[ music | blink 182 - story of a lonely guy. ]

today should have been a good day but its really not.  I know I shouldn't care what people say, or what they think.  I should just let them talk, knowing that i'm at a higher level than them.  Why do I care so much?  I don't know why it hurts this time when it never really had before, its not like you mattered anyways.  Words are weapons, I guess.  Oh, & today's my 2nd anniversary.  I feel stronger.  I always do on these kinds of days.  I feel like if I could make it through that, i'm unstoppable.

But oh, i've realized that yes, i'm very stoppable.
I'm vulnerable to anything.

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[21 Jun 2007|08:56pm]
[ music | Bright Eyes - Poison Oak ]

lately, i've been longing to feel the same sense of freedom.  I know, I sound completely unappreciative towards my youth, but sometimes I just wish I were eighteen already, so I could finally live my life exactly how I want it.  I want to wake up everyday to the sun instead of my mom telling me that its now 1:30 in the afternoon.  I want to lay in bed all day & get into a good art school, a small apartment, & I want to feel unrestricted.  I'm going to get rid of all the things in my life that hold me back from anything.  Yeah, I know I wrote twice today.  I have alot to say, I suppose.  If you read this, leave something.  Sometimes I wonder if anyone listens to what I have to say.  Let me know if you do, it would really cheer me up.
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[21 Jun 2007|08:16pm]
[ music | the killers - indie rock n roll ]

today was uneventful, and i'm not in the greastest mood.  The only thing that really is making me feel better is singing.  Speaking of which, i'm making a new goal for myself. For some reason, I still get really nervous when i'm about to sing in front of people, so I never end up doing it.  I don't sing seriously in front of people.  I can sing in front of a group, but I can't sing in front of a single person.  I really want to get over that stage fright.  Also, its really bothering me how it says that everyone has equal rights in the constitution, when we really don't.  Its really starting to get riddiculous, how gays are treated as modern day slaves.  It really says nothing in the bible against gays, so our church had a service for them, & 30 people left.  & they should be ashamed, because they're adults.  You know, I just really don't believe that someone should be stripped of their rights because of their beliefs, or who they love.  How ignorant of the human race, right?

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[20 Jun 2007|08:44am]
[ music | echo me, astronaut - hate the shore. ]

eh, I don't really have a whole lot to say.  I'm feeling more homesick than usual lately.  I guess i'm just really out of my element here.

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[18 Jun 2007|12:25pm]
[ music | minus the bear - lemurs man, lemurs. ]

theres so much on my mind lately, I can't even begin to cover it. I haven't been sleeping well, so I have time to sort things out. I have this urge to write during any of my free time. I've been babysitting a lot as well, i've made $165 dollars in two weeks. Its actually really nice to have money for once. This summer has been pretty uneventful so far, but that will hopefully get a lot better. I can't wait until steve comes. Its pouring outside right now & i've never been happier to hear it, the sound of it on my window is really calming. I'm also feeling pretty nostalgic, so leave your favorite memory of us.

memories. )
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[17 Jun 2007|04:59pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Tilly & the Wall - Patience Babe ]

I love love, & all it offers me.
I learn from every mistake I go through, except love.
I don't give up, I never lose hope to find it.
"Patience will heal your pain."
I can't wait to go to florida this year, I can't wait to feel the sun on me, the waves kissing my feet.
I love florida, I love the city lights, the sound of the tide at night.

That is all.

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[16 Jun 2007|12:54pm]
I want to try & start making the best out of everything.
I'm just really confused about where I want my life to go.
I feel like I need to decide early, even when I know I don't have to.
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[03 Jun 2007|07:46pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | The Horrors - Sheena is a Parasite. ]

I despise staying home.
I really want to go out!
today I really don't have anything worthwhile to say.
I went to "Bass Pro," you know the hunting super-store where dead animals are everywhere.
It really goes against my choice of lifestyle, y'know?
haha, so i'm going to start praying & all that, because if I end up going to hell, thats what its going to look like.
terrible.
It sickens me how people can do something as ugly as that.
scrape the insides of animals & stuff them.

the human race is disgusting.

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[30 May 2007|03:32pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | Dashboard Confessional ]

I haven't used livejournal in such a long time. Looking back on those old entries, seems like i'm looking at someone elses writing. Its crazy to see how much i've grown up in so little time. It amazes me. I've matured in so many ways, thanks to everything i've gone through lately/people i've met/etc. Has anyone ever wondered about the butterfly effect? The thought is consuming me. The smallest things can really get me thinking. For example, I washed my hands the other day & thought "if I didn't use soap, would my life be completely changed?" Maybe I overthink things a little too much. Listen to "stolen" by Dashboard Confessional. Its beautiful.<3

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[02 Jul 2006|05:48pm]
[ mood | silly ]
[ music | Adeeda singing ]

I'm in Kansass. =] I'm at Tori's right now but shes swimming so me and adeeda are sitting on the two computers. Adeeda is singing some song, but I forgot what its called. Its on the radio a lot. I hurt myself twice skating. Yesterday I fell on my back and knocked the wind out of myself but it didnt hurt that bad, because I didnt hit my head. But yeahh, today Drake tripped over a rock and I was behind him soo his board flipped at me and slammed into my knee. THAT one hurt, I can hardly frickin walk. But im okay. I grinded down a step, and did a manual. Yeah boyy. Now Adeeda is listening to Nick Lachey. Were going to play DDR though, so bye
<3 KALI & AMANDA.

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CHYEAH. [28 Jun 2006|06:21pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Freezepop ]

um, yeah, that was Shelby.
Anyways, i'm leaving, so leave me cute comments please.
If you leave comments, i'll miss you.
except if your Jake who cant comment, i'll miss you anyways buddy.

Bye, see you guys in a month <3

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